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When I prepared for shoulder surgery, I thought I had anticipated everything. I had mentally braced for the awkwardness of eating with my non-dominant hand and the frustration of tying my shoes with one arm out of commission. But what I wasn’t ready for were the challenges that weren’t visible or physical—the ones that tested my heart and mind in ways I hadn’t imagined.
The disruption to my routines left me feeling adrift. Simple tasks became monumental obstacles, and the mental energy spent rethinking every detail of my day quickly drained my patience. What surprised me most was how much I struggled with asking for help. For years, I’ve encouraged my family, friends, and students to embrace discomfort, lean into challenges, and grow through them. Yet here I was, faced with my own moment of vulnerability, hesitant to practice what I’ve preached.
Admitting that I needed assistance felt like a personal failure, even though I’ve always told others that asking for help is a sign of strength. Each time I had to say “no” to my son when he wanted to play baseball broke my heart a little more. I’ve often talked about the importance of developing executive function skills like adaptability and emotional regulation, but living those lessons in real-time was humbling. I had to actively remind myself that being uncomfortable is part of growth—that it’s okay to not have everything figured out.
This was also an opportunity to lead my kids by example. I often seek to show them that challenges aren’t just something to endure—they’re something to learn from. By being honest about my struggles and showing them how I navigated my discomfort, I was able to model resilience in a way that words alone never could. They saw me grapple with frustration and find small victories, and I hope that will stick with them as they face their own obstacles in life.
Recovery is still a journey, one filled with both triumphs and setbacks. Some days, holding a coffee cup without spilling feels like a major win. Other days, the weight of saying “not yet” to things I love looms large. But with each step forward, I’m learning to embrace the unexpected and lean into the lessons it offers—about patience, resilience, and the strength we find when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.
In the end, this experience has reminded me of the resilience we all carry within us, often unnoticed until life demands we tap into it. It’s a strength that comes not just from overcoming challenges but from honoring every part of the journey, unexpected detours and all. You have what it takes.