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As you navigate holiday activities, take a moment to see the world from your child’s perspective. Pay attention to their reactions to various stimuli—bright lights, loud noises, crowded spaces, or new routines. These elements may seem minor to you but can feel insurmountable to a child sensitive to sensory input or unexpected changes.
Triggers might appear in subtle ways. For instance, your child might cover their ears during a family gathering or become unusually quiet at a bustling holiday market. Conversely, they might have a sudden meltdown after spending too much time in a crowded environment. Withdrawal, defiance, or clinginess can also signal that something is off.
To truly understand these reactions, try keeping a mental or written note of when these behaviors occur. Was it after a long day of back-to-back activities? Or perhaps during a sensory-rich event like a holiday parade? Identifying patterns can help you anticipate and prevent overwhelming situations in the future.
Children may not always have the words to express their feelings of being overwhelmed, so their behaviors become their voice. Meltdowns, for example, are often mistaken for tantrums, but they usually signal sensory or emotional overload rather than a desire to manipulate. Similarly, withdrawal isn’t necessarily a sign of disinterest—it might indicate a need for quiet time to recharge.
Additional signs of overwhelm may include:
By understanding that these behaviors are not defiance but communication, you can respond with empathy and appropriate support.
Once you’ve identified potential triggers, consider how to adjust your child’s environment to make it more sensory-friendly. This doesn’t mean skipping holiday traditions entirely—it’s about modifying them to better suit your child’s needs.
Setting realistic expectations is equally important. Not every holiday tradition may work for your child, and that’s okay. Letting go of the “perfect” holiday vision can open up space for new traditions that everyone can enjoy.
One of the most impactful ways to support your child during the holidays is through open, honest communication. Let them share their feelings about what they enjoy and what they find challenging.
Start by asking simple, open-ended questions:
Validate their responses without judgment. If they say they don’t like visiting a particular relative’s house or feel nervous about a large gathering, acknowledge their feelings and brainstorm solutions together. For example, you could plan a shorter visit or arrange for a quiet space where they can retreat if needed.
By involving your child in these decisions, you’re not only helping them feel heard but also teaching them self-advocacy skills that will serve them well beyond the holiday season.
The holidays often come with high expectations, but rigidity can lead to unnecessary stress. Instead, approach the season with flexibility and a willingness to adapt.
For example, if your child struggles with sitting through a long meal, consider serving a smaller plate of their favorite foods and allowing them to leave the table early. If a holiday tradition like caroling feels overwhelming, opt for a family singalong at home.
Remember, the goal isn’t to check off every item on your holiday to-do list. It’s to create a season filled with moments of joy and connection.
Seeing the holidays through your child’s eyes can transform how you approach this season. By observing their reactions, recognizing signs of overwhelm, creating sensory-friendly environments, fostering open communication, and embracing flexibility, you can help your child navigate the holidays with greater ease and confidence.
Above all, remember that the most meaningful holiday memories often come from simple moments of connection—a shared laugh, a quiet story by the fire, or a spontaneous dance to holiday music. When you honor your child’s unique needs, you’re giving them the greatest gift of all: the freedom to be themselves and the comfort of knowing they are loved just as they are.
This holiday season, may your family find new traditions, embrace old ones in fresh ways, and celebrate the magic of understanding one another better.