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Recovery is never a straight line—and neither is parenting. As I navigate life post-shoulder surgery, I’m struck by how much this experience mirrors the journey of parenting neurodivergent children. Both demand patience, creativity, and a willingness to adapt. But most of all, they teach us that growth often comes from the moments we least expect.
For those of us raising neurodivergent learners, every day can feel like a test of resilience. How do we advocate for our children while encouraging their independence? How do we help them navigate a world that often misunderstands their needs? And how do we remind ourselves that it’s okay to take a step back when we feel overwhelmed? These questions don’t have easy answers, but my recovery has offered me some insights worth sharing.
First, progress isn’t always obvious. After my surgery, I was eager to get back to my old routines, but recovery taught me that healing doesn’t happen overnight. The same is true for neurodivergent learners. Growth might not always look like an academic breakthrough or a social milestone; sometimes it’s as simple as your child learning to self-advocate, try something new, or bounce back from a tough day. These small victories are worth celebrating because they build the foundation for greater achievements down the road.
Second, success isn’t about perfection—it’s about persistence. My healing journey has been messy, filled with setbacks and moments of doubt. But each time I pushed through, I learned something valuable about myself. As parents, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling short when our children struggle. Yet every challenge we face alongside them is a testament to our dedication and love. We may not always get it right, but showing up matters more than we realize.
One of the most humbling parts of this journey has been learning to ask for help. As a parent, it’s tempting to believe we have to do it all. But just as I needed support during recovery, our children benefit when we create a network of care around them. Whether it’s teachers, therapists, or fellow parents, leaning on others doesn’t make us weaker—it makes us stronger. And in modeling this for our children, we teach them the power of community.
Perhaps the hardest lesson I’ve learned is that sometimes we have to say “no” to say “yes.” During my recovery, I had to turn down my son’s requests to play catch or help with projects. Each “no” felt like a tiny heartbreak. But I reminded myself that these temporary disappointments were paving the way for something bigger. In the same way, there will be moments when we have to set boundaries with our children—not because we don’t want to support them, but because we’re preparing them (and ourselves) for a brighter future.
When I think about tossing a baseball with my son again, it’s not just about a healed shoulder. It’s about showing him—and myself—what resilience looks like. It’s about proving that challenges don’t define us; they refine us. This is a lesson we can carry into every aspect of our parenting journey, especially when raising neurodivergent learners.
So, as we step into a new year, I want to leave you with this thought: You already have what it takes. Every time you advocate for your child, every time you learn something new to support them, and every time you face a challenge with courage, you’re proving that you’re exactly the parent your child needs. Parenting isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about embracing the process and trusting that the journey will lead to growth—for both you and your child.
Let this year be a reminder that setbacks are just stepping stones and that resilience is built one moment at a time. You’ve got this—and so does your child.